Sunday, October 29, 2006

Job No. 57 - GT Racing Driver

Tonight I was using a new recruitment site, Snagajob, when I found a vacancy that seemed like it would be intellectually stimulating and financially rewarding - being the Chick-Fil-A Cow mascot for the Chick-Fil-A restaurant in Raleigh, North Carolina.

The job seems to largely (well, totally) revolve around the concept of dressing up as a cow - aside from that, there are no udder duties for you to perform. However, just as I was beginning to get excited and planning my trip to Raleigh, I read the final line of the job description:

"For aspiring actors or actresses this could be your big break!"

Suddenly, I began to worry - was I really ready for the worldwide fame, plaudits and general admiration that could follow from my role as the Chick-Fil-A Cow mascot? Could I deal with the constant hounding from the paparazzi and the endless rounds of premieres and gala luncheons? I could feel my pulse beginning to pound at the very thought...

It is a little known fact that Sir Laurence Olivier had a life of acting and fame thrust upon him thanks to his appearance dressed as Nipper, the RCA records dog, in 1930 - which catapulted him into an acting career of hundreds of film and stage roles. I wasn't sure that I could deal with such instant stardom so I decided to pass on Chick-Fil-A and its opportunity of a lifetime...

Instead, I decided that I would tonight apply to be a racing driver. It seems that Kruse Motor Sport are looking for someone to drive their Courage C65 race car in a variety of races, including the Le-Mans 24hr event. The Courage C65 is rather quick - it is about as powerful as a supercar (like the Saleen S7) while weighing about as much as a Smart Car - and I'm sure it would be considerably more entertaining to drive than my current Ford Focus 1.8 diesel...

I think this could be just the job for me - although I've never actually driven on a race track (unless you count the M6 Motorway) I've garnered a wealth of experience from my time spent playing on the Gran Turismo series of videogames on my Playstation and Playstation 2; in fact, I've managed to secure all my international licenses. And, while I seem to spend a large part of my virtual driving time either on the grass, in the gravel or going round in circles, I'm certain that in real life the whole thing is probably a lot easier.

And - since there are some people in the USA who argue that first person shooters can gift people with the shooting skills needed to be killers (despite using a joypad or a mouse rather than an actual gun), I'm sure that the altogether more realistic simulation provided by Gran Turismo and a steering wheel is surely enough to allow me to walk into the position of lead driver on their team...

In my application letter, I highlighted my extensive racing experience but didn't feel it necessary to mention that it was earned on my Playstation - after all, I'm sure it wouldn't really make much of a difference to how they consider my application:


I wish to apply for the advertised position of driver and have attached a recent CV.

I have extensive driving and racing experience - everything from Touring Cars to the GT series - and have all the relevant international licenses.

Recently, I have been putting in a considerable number of laps at the Nurburgring with my modified Pagani Zonda C12S and I make an effort to drive on a number of circuits around the world. I have experience of driving the Le-Mans Circuit de la Sarthe and believe that, given an opportunity, I could take my driving to the next level and drive the Courage C65 for you.



I'm sure they will be impressed by my racing heritage and I hope to be jetting out to their headquarters in Cologne to put down some practice laps in their car very soon. Of course, I can't see myself being with them for too long - they're merely my stepping stone into the far more lucrative world of Formula 1...

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