Thursday, October 05, 2006

Job No. 33 - Head of Gymnastics

Today, while looking through the Guardian jobs pages, I stumbled across a position that, rather thoughtfully, gives candidates a considerable amount of time to prepare - Head of Gymnastics needed in time for 2012.

Thanks to the generous forethought of the trust involved (they remain nameless in the advert) it means that I have plenty of time to work on my interview techniques and my general level of gymnastic knowledge. Right now, I'm maybe not quite at my peak - flexibility a little reduced, carrying a bit of excess weight thanks to my doughnut diet of the other week - but by 2012 I'm sure I can be just the man they are looking for...

The advert stated:

The ideal applicant will have a minimum of 7 years experience of coaching or competing at a regional or national level, evidence of managing a gymnastics programme, dealt with competitions at all levels and will be a BGA full member.

However, I have calculated that - if I begin immediately - I will have six years experience of coaching by 2012 (which is pretty close) and I'm sure it can't be too hard to get the hang of managing gymnastic programmes - "do another back flip thing followed by one of those spinny doo-dahs" - I'll soon have them organised.

My only concern is with regard to the remuneration as the advert also states:

You could be rewarded by seeing a child who has gone through your programme pick up a medal at 2012.

This of course, tugs insistently at my heart strings. But it doesn't pay the bills, and I was rather hoping that my Head of Gymnastics role would be rewarded with cold, hard cash. I decided to raise this issue in my application letter:

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to apply for the position of Head of Gymnastics (ref. GJSLHG), as advertised in the Guardian, and have attached my CV for your consideration.

I am confident that, by 2012, I will have fully satisfied all of your requirements and that I can help ensure a gymnastic programme the like of which has never been seen before. By 2012 I anticipate being only one year short of the coaching requirement (give or take a few months) and I'm sure my other strengths can make up for this slight shortfall. Do you anticipate interviews being held prior to 2012?

I would be interested to know a little more about the method of remuneration - is it a role whose essential reward is garnered from one's achievements rather than being derived from more tangible monetary rewards?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.



I will spend the next six years working on my gymnastic skills - ready to emerge in 2012 as the qualified Head of Gymnastics they so, not particularly, desperately need!


Gill said...

If you are perusing the jobs market in great detail could you let me know if you see a job advertised for poet and daydreamer? I'm not asking for a big salary- about £20,00 would do. Ta.

Oliver Davies said...

If anything poetic crosses my path (especially if it includes daydreaming as a sub-duty), you'll be the first to know...