Sunday, April 01, 2012

30 Day Writing Challenge - Day 23

Oh dear, this one turned out to cause my all sorts of problems...

Firstly, I was meant to do today's challenge - First person blind date - on Day 21 but, due to general idiocy on my part, managed to skip it entirely. And, secondly, when I finally came to write the story I realised - a couple of hundred words in - that I was actually working on something that, thematically, was a variant of the story that I already wrote for Day 18.

So, I abandoned the story of the blind date involving two assassins and instead wrote something altogether, well, different...

First Person Blind Date

The wait is the part that I always enjoy the most.

There are a selection of restaurants that I use, all of them possessing that perfect combination of wonderful service and exquisite cuisine, and over the years they’ve got to know me well and always ensure that I get my favourite table. Tonight, I am in Geraldos and I’m sitting in a corner, secluded from the main dining area and the hubbub of conversation. This is my favourite table because it gives me a perfect view of the door and so I can try to guess, as guests arrive, which one is my date for this evening.

I find that the thrill served up by the delicious anticipation of this hors d’Ĺ“uvre is often far more potent than that offered by the main course that is the companion that eventually arrives to share dinner with me. Even so, I have to admit that intergalactic blind dating is not something that I could recommend to those of a less than adventurous character.

If you’ve ever watched some of the science fiction shows offered on the seriously retro sites, you’ll discover that the aliens they featured tended to differ from humans by virtue of having a different skin colour (blue was, it seems, quite a popular choice) or by having strange patterns on their skin, or possessing curious protrusions from their forehead. But, due to – I’m guessing – hideously low production costs and antiquated special effects, pretty much all the aliens that we imagined before we actually met one were carbon-based, oxygen breathing bipeds.

Never was the saying ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ more relevant than the moment we first encountered the Qqmadrall.

The Qqmadrall were the first alien species to turn up on mankind’s doorstep after following the transmissions that had been leaking from Earth, out into the cosmos for the last couple of centuries. While they came in peace, the fact that they looked like giant ten-legged black crabs ensured that they were never going to win any Earthly beauty contests. Although, it must be said, they are excellent company and possess phenomenal appetites – in all areas, if you catch my drift.

Then there were the Godeal, silicon-based lifeforms that aren’t dissimilar to a small boulder and have matching level s of charisma; the Hurys, techno-organic sails that live out a peaceful existence in the atmosphere of gas giants and must travel within force shielding in Earth standard atmospheres (not ideal for a dinner date, as it turns out). I can advise against the Radcht; two foot long maggots who bind themselves to host bodies and are nothing but charming over dinner but have a tendency to see if they can’t make you their next host once you’ve got them back to your room; and the Bllom – well, I think, after the incident with the Australian Prime Minister, we all know about the dangers of dating a Bllom…

Hundreds of species, each one more strange and exotic than the next. Once you’ve experienced conversation with a Pukti (three heads, each with an independent brain – it’s like having a group of friends, although the arguments can be terrible), eaten with a Atrophan (an avian race who, due to a freakishly high metabolism, are capable of consuming three times their body weight in one sitting) or spent quality time with a Lwee (a prehensile tongue can be a wonderful thing), it’s very difficult to go back to the mundanity of dating humans.

Tonight it’s a Kspooj and, if I’m honest, I’ve got to say that  I don’t know what a Kspooj even  looks like so I’m just waiting for something to walk in that I’ve never seen before.

Like I said, the wait is the part I always enjoy the most.

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