Sunday, January 13, 2013

Oliver's Movie Reviews - Wreck-It Ralph


After a receiving a wealth of feedback on my first ever movie review - the best of which I collated and then totally forgot to follow - I decided it was about time I had another go at this film reviewing malarkey. The first order of business was (of course)a bit of guitaring over the intro and outro and I even managed to sling together something resembling end credits. Time, and feedback, will tell whether I managed to get any better at this second time around but - regardless - I'm still rather enjoying it...

Today's review is Wreck-It Ralph:





Thursday, January 10, 2013

Jack Reacher Review - Transcript


Further to yesterday's movie review, I figured you might like to read the transcript...

Jack Reacher is the new Tom Cruise movie. Based on the novel One Shot by Lee Child (who manages to pop up in a cameo – something that I intend to make sure is in the contract of any novel  I ever write and sell the movie rights to), we should really talk straight away about the elephant in the room. As any reader of Jack Reacher novels knows, Jack Reacher is a BIG guy. Six foot five inches tall (or 1 metre 96 cm for our metric friends), 250lbs (or 115kg) with a 50 inch chest – for sake of comparison, that’s the kind of physique reserved for barely mortals such as Wladimir Klitschko or Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. So when news hit the interwebs that Jack Reacher was going to be played by the slightly more vertically challenged, Mr Cruise, well – frankly – there was uproar...

So the first big question– and it’s one that has vexed men for millennia – is, does size matter? And, gentlemen, you’re going to be sighing with some relief when I tell you "no it does not".  What matters is what you do with it, and what Tom Cruise manages to do with it is work some tough guy magic in a role that I think I subconsciously wanted to dislike him in.

The story revolves around the shooting of five random people by a sniper who rather conveniently leaves enough evidence behind that the police are at his home arresting him barely moments later. It’s a fix, he cries; I've been stitched up! Or at least, that’s what he should have cried but, instead, Mr Barr our banged-to-rights sniper merely slides a piece of paper across the table with three words on it - GET JACK REACHER.

And, like some kind of psychic bat signal, it works because while the cops and the DA are still busy worrying how they go about tracking down the mysterious Mr Reacher, he turns up unannounced on their doorstep. But much like Mark Anthony and Caesar, he’s not come to praise Mr Barr he’s come to bury him. Which seems to promise a rather short movie – sniper kills people, Jack Reacher comes and says ‘good riddance’, roll credits...

But, wait, it would be stupid to stop there – wannabe helpful defence lawyer – played by Rosamund Pike convinces him to stay around and work as her investigator and he’s soon busying poking his nose in all manner of places. For those of you unfamiliar with Jack Reacher , he’s an ex- military police officer who ditched the army and now wanders around America stumbling upon all manner of criminal ne’er-do-wells – it’s a bit like Scooby Doo and the Gang without Scooby Doo, or indeed the gang, and instead of a bloke dressed up as ghostly diver there are Russian mafia bosses who force their underlings to chew off their own fingers to demonstrate their loyalty. 

Fortunately, Jack Reacher is more than a match for pretty much anyone or anything that crosses his path – he has the martial prowess of James Bond and Chuck Norris rolled into one, the detective skills of Columbo and a memory like Sheldon Cooper. And yes, let me say again, Tom Cruise does a great job of convincing us on all counts – he kicks ass with the best of them in this movie with an air of somewhat detached brutality as he dispatches all manner of brutish thugs. Knees are cracked, eyes are gouged and testicles are pummelled into submission - he even manages to find time to knock someone out with the repeated use of someone else’s head. 

There’s an obligatory car chase and an obligatory whiff of romantic attraction but I won’t spoil any more details of the plot or of the myriad twists, turns and low-down double crosses that unfurl during the courses of the movie. Nor will I venture onto the narrative thin ice that might just crack beneath my feet if I prod some of the contrivances of the plot with any real gusto – because frankly, it’s not that kind of movie. 

If you want deep and meaningful, you need to look elsewhere. Jack Reacher is a movie to enjoy with some popcorn and some beer; to sit back and watch Tom Cruise convince us that he doesn’t need to be 6’5” in order to kick the ass of anything short of Godzilla. I wanted not to like it but, nevertheless, it turns out I did. It’s not the sort of movie I’ll remember much of in a few months time but, if you want a bit of testosterone-fuelled fun, with a few humorous moments - and you feel like it’s about time someone did a movie like this that didn’t star Jason Statham - then I can recommend you go enjoy a bit of Jack Reacher.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Oliver's Movie Reviews - Jack Reacher


In something of a change from the usual service I decided to have a go at doing a movie review of the new Tom Cruise film, Jack Reacher. I rather enjoyed writing it and putting it together and, if one or two people besides me also manage to derive a modicum of enjoyment from it then I might just be persuaded to make this something of a habit...


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Starting Point...

(c) 2009 Frenic
Today is my birthday and, if we are to hold true to the belief that how you spend your birthday will serve to determine how your next year will unfold then I have a rather wonderful year ahead of me. Not only have I had a wonderful day, but I also found time to do a little bit of writing on a story idea I've been working on for a while. There's more of this to come - and the full scope of the idea will be revealed then - but, for now, I hope you enjoy my first draft of the opening....


Two minutes out from New Sunan airport, the tapering spires of Pyongyang looming out of the dull grey smog ahead, and a cascade of CI routines are already blossoming neon orange in my peripheral vision against the scattering of tripwire probes that invisibly assail me. Nothing too serious; low-tech commercial grade and homebrew code that is used to dealing with far easier prey, tourists and businessmen who’d be none the wiser to the data they’d lost or the secrets they’d shared. I was packing a near-as military spec e-iris and docking system; enough to foil all but the most major of major players.

I settle back into the comfort of my seat and gaze out of the window at the passing landscape, little more than a concrete blur as the Maglev continues its relentless acceleration. I set fragments of scraped data, that my slave routines had worked up for me in-flight, drifting before me like snowflakes and allow myself to be lost in the hypnotic allure of aggregated data feeds. Ballistics data from an on-going case in Seattle, a set of invoices relating to a case in San Diego, reminders on rent for my office, an invite to a party (declined), the result of a blood test I’d taken after having been bitten (negative for pathogens) and a bevy of voicemails from people I either didn’t know or didn’t want to reply to.

The trail had not been an easy one to follow. Riddles wrapped within riddles and a rising body count that was scattered across at least three continents. Shell companies, convenient suicides, accidents, data loss; whoever was behind this had worked hard to make sure that it would be nearly impossible to untangle the web of deceit. Nearly impossible.

I could pinpoint the exact moment that this had stopped being just a case and had become something more to me, something personal. An empty New York parking lot, rain streaming down and pooling at my feet; a witness already dead and a shot that I’d felt before I’d heard; the pink scar tissue that runs across the breadth of my back a testament to the most fractional of misses. They had, I liked to believe, made a mistake that day. As I had lain face down on the black asphalt, cheek mushed up against the grit and gravel, cold rain soaking and mingling with the pulsing warmth that I knew was my own blood, I had changed. In that moment, I had gone from being merely interested to being fully invested.

A woman dressed in a black business suit threads her way down the aisle of the train, a Louis Vuitton suitcase trailing in her wake, and sits down opposite to me. Porcelain skin and obsidian eyes that look me over with practised disinterest, black hair knitted into thick dreadlocks that are coiled around her head like a serpent’s basket.  She stares absently out of the window for a few moments before turning her attention back to me, her red lips pursed as if waiting for me to ask her a question. I decide not to disappoint.

“Can I help you?”

She stares back at me in silence for a moment, her face a blank canvas that betrays nothing. Finally she smiles, a thin smile that seems almost etched into place.

“I don’t know, Mr Melville. Is there?”

Her voice is soft, almost melodic, and I feel a rumble of discontent roll through my stomach. She knows my name. Not one of the names that I have been travelling under, not the false passport upon which I arrived into this country less than two hours earlier. She knows my real name.

“You seem to have me at a disadvantage, Miss…?”

She gives me that smile again but her eyes stay utterly cold. “My name is of little importance. I come with an offer from my employer for you.”

“And who might your employer be?”

She ignores the question and instead slips the suitcase onto her knee and opens it to reveal a yellow stack of US government bonds.

“There’s $20 million here.” she says, and pushes it towards me.

“And I’m supposed to just take this and go home, I assume?”

“That’s exactly what you do, Mr Melville. You take this suitcase and you go home and you never go poking your noise into the business of my employer again.”

I nod thoughtfully.

“And if I don’t take this briefcase?” I ask, “If I tell your employer that I can’t be bought? If I carry on coming and I don’t stop?”

“Then you force our hand and leave us with no choice but to make you go away.”

I laugh.

“And what are you going to do? Kill me?”

“I came prepared for all possible contingencies today.”

“I backed up immediately before this trip,” I reply, “I’ll be reskinned in three days. Kill me and I’ll be back here in a week, tops.”

She closes the suitcase in silence and places it on the floor of the train before standing up and slipping off her jacket to reveal a suicide vest that glistens beneath the train’s fluorescent lights. A metal belt knotted with strands of blue wiring that serve to stitch together several pale white blocks of C4. I don’t know a whole lot about plastic explosives, but I’m pretty certain that she is carrying enough to take out the entire carriage. She holds a wireless detonator loosely in her right hand, her thumb hovering against the button.

“Last chance to change your mind, Mr Melville.”

These are the moments upon which you are judged, I guess. The times where pressure acts to reveal our true character, lay bare our beliefs and motives.

“Death doesn’t scare me.” I say, and I realise I truly believe it in that moment. I’ve never been reskinned before but I know it’s tried and trusted tech, as proven as the train we were riding on today. “At best, you’re just delaying me.”

“Am I?”

Her eyes glitter black, her smile a line drawn across her face that serves to eat away at any beauty it might otherwise hold.

“And what if, Mr Melville, there is no reskinning for you? What if this is all there is?”

She leans in close, the detonator now tight in hand, and I can smell the faint delicate tang of her perfume.

“I told you I came prepared for all contingencies, Mr Melville.”

Even as I try to process what she just said, her thumb closes hard on the button and I wonder whether her white face will be the last thing I ever…

Sunday, September 30, 2012

On the erosion of free speech and expression...

Photograph: Tristram Kenton

A new production of Jesus Christ Superstar is currently touring the arenas of the UK, featuring a Jesus Christ plucked from the obscurity of a TV talent show, the comedian Tim Minchin, Mel C (of Spice Girl fame) and former Radio 1 DJ, Chris Moyles. At the moment, the biggest concerns about it seem to revolve around whether the production (and indeed the cast) are suited to the arena format (opinions vary) but there are - you'll probably be unsurprised to hear - no concerns about the content. After all, Jesus Christ Superstar has been touring around the world for more than 40 years...

Which makes the current situation in the Russian city of Rostov-on-Don all the more remarkable.

With a population of just over a million, the city of Rostov-on-Don is the tenth largest in the Russian Federation and, while it grew to be an industrial city during the Soviet-era, it has always been a city with a deep connection to culture (as witnessed by Mikhail Sholokhov's Nobel prize winning novel And Quiet Flows the Don). But what has brought Rostov-on-Don to the forefront of the news this week has been the restriction of culture, and the restriction of freedoms.

St. Petersburg's Rock Opera Theatre was due to put on a production of Jesus Christ Superstar - something they've been doing all over Russia since 1990 (and indeed something they've done five times in Rostov-on-Don since then) - at the Rostov Philharmonic Theatre on October 18th. But, currently, the theatre has had to suspend sales of tickets due to an edict from the city's authorities. The reason? A letter of complaint to the city authorities by eighteen Orthodox Christians.

Eighteen. That's less people than can be comfortably be fitted onto a bus.That's less than 3% of the capacity of the Rostov Philharmonic Theatre's largest hall. Or to put it another way, that's just over 0.001% of the total population of Rostov-on-Don.

Eighteen people drafted a letter to the authorities of Rostov-on-Don in which they point out that the "image of Christ presented in the opera is false from the point of view of Christianity" (handily ignoring the myriad interpretations of Christ that Christianity itself has presented over the millennia) and state that "as it stands, the work is a profanation".

The authorities have handed the letter of complaint over to the Rostov-on-Don prosecutors and, while they investigate, the theatre has been ordered to halt all ticket sales.

Now it would seem likely that, over the years that it has been put on in Rostov-on-Don, there have been similar letters of complaint (perhaps even from the same eighteen people) but what is very different this year is the response of the authorities; and this stems from a sea change in Russia that has seen the Orthodox Church begin to reassert itself in the political arena and attempt to secure legislation that will protect it from criticism or ridicule.

Last week, the State Duma in Russian voted in favour of a bill - seemingly inspired by the furore of the recent Pussy Riot case - that will massively increase the punishment for "offending religious beliefs and citizen's feelings". The committing of "public offences, humiliation of worship or other religious rites and associations, or violation of the religious beliefs and feelings of citizens" will now result in fines of up to 300,000 rubles (about $10,000), 200 hours of compulsory labour and/or three years in jail. I am rather curious how all this plays out; after all, I can imagine that a great number of religions could make a strong case for the very existence of other religions as being offensive to their religious beliefs...

And this is not an issue confined to Russia; the riots throughout the Middle East over the depiction of the Prophet Muhammed in a film are a testament to that. Algeria, at a meeting of the UN yesterday, demanded that the UN bring in measures to prevent blasphemy. Ekmeleddin Ihsanoglu, secretary general of the Organization of Islamic Cooperation, in an interview on Saturday warned that the West needed to "understand the sensitivity of the Muslim world" and that to allow similar provocations would pose "a threat to international peace and security and the sanctity of life"

And all of this worries me. I'm with Evelyn Beatrice Hall, who coined the phrase (frequently misattributed to Voltaire, whose biography she wrote) "I disapprove of what you saybut I will defend to the death your right to say it". 


I am not religious but I have no problem with other people being religious. I'm not some evangelical atheist who feels that he needs to 'educate' those people who've not yet seen the light (of cold, hard, reason that is!); instead, I like to think that we all of us should have a right to hold our own beliefs and to express those beliefs. You believe in God? Good for you! You believe in Allah? Great! You believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster? You go, with your pastafarianism! 


But what worries me is the way that the beliefs of others are growing to restrict the freedoms of what we can say, even the freedoms we have in the way that we live our lives. Now, you may think - if you are reading this in the 'civilised' West - that this is not an issue that affects you; but this is not an issue on which the West can sit smugly on its high moral horse; after all, the US Republican party this year endorsed a ban on abortion even in cases such as rape and incest; based upon religious conviction. This is, after all, the same party whose Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, has repeatedly reiterated his opinion that marriage is an enduring institute between man and woman (although, being a Mormon I'm not sure he was precise on the exact numbers) and that he would ban same-sex marriage at a federal level. Now, Romney swears that this isn't a religious decision but instead "based upon what I believe is right for the nation and the building of strong generations for our future" but he's fooling no one. The religious beliefs of Mitt Romney, that homosexuality is a sin, would (if, God forbid, he were to be elected) directly impact upon the freedoms of millions of people to live their lives.


You see, as the capabilities we have to communicate with each other have increased; through first mass media and now 'new' media; the beliefs of countless billions have crashed headlong with each other in a way that would have been unimaginable less than a century ago. And - surprise, surprise - this has led to a world in which it has become ever easier to offend the beliefs of others, ever easier to incite violence through rhetoric. But, reactionary steps to try to limit freedoms of speech and expression such as those proposed by Algeria are not a solution to this - in fact, if we follow a logical path of that particular mindset then we end up in an Orwellian future of non-expression where only the most neutral and neutered viewpoints can be voiced.


The way to solve this is acceptance. To accept the possibility that others don't share your beliefs or customs. To accept the possibility that others will have a different viewpoint on how to live their lives. To accept that what you hold most holy and sacred may have no value to somebody else. It may be a futile wish but, in the words of President James Dale, "why can't we all just get along?"